It dawned on me that I've only been writing a little bit before jumping straight into my thoughts and concerns. When I went to write my next post, it struck me that I’m headed forward on an avalanche of posts. I’m eager to engage in my craft, eager to write and produce works that someone will enjoy.
The magnitude of stories in my head are tremendous, running through me like tornadoes, buffeting me in a virtual world of storytelling tsunami.
Once I gain a breath, sitting in the eye of the storm, I’m thoroughly sated from experiencing the story in my head, resting until the hurricane spins over my story chakra again.
This blog isn't my attempt to temper the storms and stop the twisters. Writing the stories are the attempt to get out of my head and rain the storms down on paper, golf-ball sized hail of words. This blog is to help me keep on track and try to keep me from tumbling back into my mind's eye, waiting for the next typhoon, the next hungry twister of engulfing story, and willingly sinking into the black whole of my creativity.
When I describe it as a black whole, I don’t mean an empty vapid space, I mean an event horizon which captures you so strongly that couldn't escape if you tried…if you wanted to.
I can feel the words pulsing, in heat, a wildfire raging to burn the page, but I want to do this right. In their insistence to be released, I don’t want to create a disaster of their manifestation in this dimension (their home dimension being my head of course, the giant movie theater that runs twenty-four seven), by letting them run amuck as if its an emergency for them to flood the page.
I want my execution, my output to not just be enriched, but to enrich the reader until we all glow with arousal. Hence this blog—to work through my experience, to release the pent up forces of thought, to analyze, to learn.
I hope through writing it all down, it will enhance my journey and make me better at my target: writing great erotica and amazing stories. I figure, why not bring the reader through my journey, maybe they can learn something too, and hopefully, you’ll come to trust my writing style, my ability to entertain you, that one day you will take a chance on my future, erotic, porn filled literary fire.
Here is where the panic sets in…I’m running full tilt at the bridge between my head and the paper, and I don’t have a plan. As I write, or plot, or daydream, or study, or read blogs, or do whatever else it is that I am doing to create a super soldier of erotica, it is entirely by the seat of my pants. Is that smart?
What if I hit a moment, a day a week in which I’m not inspired to blog? Will I slip off the dock to drown in the deep murky seas of my own head? If I write in bursts and fits will the delays make my blog lose life? I feel I need to keep the momentum going on the blog to keep the momentum going from head to paper.
I would hate to see a service disruption, not just for this blog, and you the reader, but for my main purpose, breathing the souls of my creations into the clay of this earth so I can bring them to life in this world.
Could this blog die in a mudslide of posts, a flurry of words, a blizzard of ideas, slowly eroded as that energy comes to rest at the base of time passing?
I think I can avoid that erosion, because I’m dedicated to my cause, if I plan, if I have an idea of exactly my purpose. I think I fear that this whole endeavor will die in infancy falling prey to the usual suspects, and I fear it even more precisely because I am running with it, manic and determined. I think that if I take this post as a warning to myself, and watch carefully that I pace, that I focus, I can avoid becoming stuck or stranded on those challenges that so often take down other people. No, the only closure I plan to have this blog see is achieving the goal of writing at least one erotic novel, and building a site where you can truly follow how I got there from a non-writer writer to Alaska Daneel, Sex writing goddess extraordinaire.
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