Genesis

When I decided to set up my own blog I pre-wrote my first post. I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted to ruminate and cogitate over the words. I did write that first post, likely not as honey glazed as I would prefer. I then searched to see which would be the best first blogging platform to start with. Eventually I plan to migrate this blog over to my very own domain, when my calling is years down the road and I have a many storied erotic author career.

I selected Blogger over WordPress because I had a personal Wordpress account once upon a time; I was dismayed with the fact that I could not opt out of Gravitar's service and was automatically migrated. If you wanted to be careful about your identity, Gravitar could out you to the world. I didn't feel that making it so you couldn't opt out of of an identifying service that reaches much farther around than Word Press, was a respectful decision.

When I went to sign up for the blogger account, getting it prepared to start on the first day of the new year (new beginnings!), it asked me to select a profile: Google + or limited blogger profile. I thought to myself, "Why yes, I think I'd like to create a wider social network, considering that I plan to be writing books for years to come. I'll click Google +." I typed in my name, hit submit--

--and was promptly rejected. Google says my name couldn't be a real name.

I paused and then tried again. I clicked on information to discover why they would reject my name. I didn't quite get clarity but instead was shunted to a page where I could appeal. "Of course my name is my name," I thought. How could you possibly confuse my name with a made up handle? Was it the fact that my first name is a location?" All of my family members have first names as locations. Its a family tradition I dare not break with my children when I have them. I'm considering the names Madagascar, Afghanistan and Australia. "Since other people have locations for names that can't be it, can it?" I thought. I wondered if any of my other family members had been denied Google +, and then realized it's highly likely none of them give a lover's fart for social networking.

For a brief moment I hovered over the appeal button ready to fill out my protest. My dignity stopped me. I don't need to prove to a giant conglomerate I am who I am. I don't have to use their service. I haven't before, despite the lovely book club Vaginal Fantasy being hosted on Google +. I'll simply be one demographic that rejects Google Plus. In fact, I probably would have dropped blogger altogether and returned, tail between my legs, to WordPress, had they not offered me at least a limited profile.

After such a flurry, I felt the need to blog this. Thus I christen my rejection from the human race my first blog. Maybe I'll write an erotic story about Google + making love to Facebook, just so I can humanize it more than it humanized me.